Entries

14/03/24 - Long time no see

2:53PM

Heeelloooo... Yeah I know I kinda disappeared.
To be honest nothing really changed. I still spend my days on my computer, I'm still studying hard, still having anxiety, still listening to music, still being alive.
I picture you pulling out torches and ptichforks at me for not starting the Reviwevs & Articles section: and you're absolutely fuckin right, because this website is getting boring as hell. I'll try to justify myself with saying I'm actually studying to entartain you in the best way possible. I got lots of albums and lots of topics, and I'm just waiting for a strike of motivation to start. I promise you I won't fail.
I'm very emotional these days. It's been three days I'm crying non stop, and I hope this will stop soon. Life is getting so so messy.

02/07/24 - WHOA, now it's been so long.

2:20PM

WELL. Now I can say i've really lost interest in things I loved doing.
It's been 4 MONTHS?? Well I'm a piece of shit indeed, and you can start throwing bombs at me.
I don't even remember what happened in the last 4 months to be honest. I sure went back and forth from my house to my mom's place and viceversa and studied. But let's add some updates.
I had half a month of vacation at my mom's and a week in Poland. We went to visit my grandparents and my uncles and went to Krakòw once again. Things went bad with my grandparents and they kicked us from the house in the middle of the night, so we spent the entire week at my lovely uncles and cousins. I miss them so much, because life seems so easy and healthy with them. Yesterday it was my birthday and it was the best day ever: my friends and my boyfriend made me a surprise party.
Now the parties are gone so I'm preparing the last two exams of my first year. It's been a heavy year and I'm not satisfied about my academical progress: I've got other 5 exams but I'm not able to pass them anymore since the second year is very near (it starts in september), so I've decided to drop them for now and start the second year and focus on new exams, and then I will try to balance out everything. I will start working in september too, so I prefer not to overlap everyhing.
Speaking about reviews, well, I still ain't got any motivation. It's sad I didn't start and it's been almost a year, but I just still can't do it. I switch interests so so fast and sometimes I leave some of them and I resume them, so there's still a chance. For example, now I'm learning to draw. My head it's just a mess sometimes. Speaking of, I will start seeing a therapist soon, so maybe everything will start to work better and I will enojoy and develop my plans better. Oof I'm yapping too much, so now I will go back to study and maybe eat something- bye.